does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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