All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
