you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
