Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
