For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
