I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
