my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
