this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
