He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
