Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Let's get the cat blown out
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
