What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
foreskin is a definite game changer
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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