why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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