I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
