Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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