Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
