I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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