Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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