I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Randomize
