Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
