we have pet lesbian snakes
Your dad touched me again.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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