i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Someone came in the potted fern
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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