she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
