The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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