is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
