Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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