I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
