Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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