if only i could text you this smell
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
