yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Randomize
