I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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