Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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