I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize
