# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
