My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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