it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
