My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
