Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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