She's JV to your varsity
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
