He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Dignity is for republicans.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
