somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
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