i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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