Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
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