HIV tests are more positive than that guy
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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