After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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