Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Bring me that man meat
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
