We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
