you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
