Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
