so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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