Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
