just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
