just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
soo... how was my night?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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