I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
